Is Being Married Hard? A Valentines Reflection

My friend asked me this and I said, "Yes, it is." We talked about that a little but the conversation has been sticking with me.
I decided that the hardest thing about being married was realizing that my husband wasn't perfect (I already knew I wasn't) and loving him anyway. It sounds simple to say that no one is perfect, but for me it was hard to accept that my husband was not going to be the exact person I wanted him to be.
Now I can see that marriage is a beautiful opportunity for two people to see each others imperfections and love one another anyway. Plus it may be that what you thought was an imperfection is actually just a trait that is different from what you are used to, and often a positive trait. People tend to be attracted to differences, and then they later resent that very same thing. Its just human nature. Marriage challenges you to grow beyond your limitations, to expand your character and broaden your imagination and capabilities.
When you are dating you are looking for the perfect person, and it is good to have high standards. When you get married, acceptance is crucial. I personally find it amazing how hard I can be on my husband. I fall into that "stinking thinking" that he should be exactly my own little imaginary ideal (thank goodness he's not!), and I begin to get very critical and judge his motivations in the worst way. Luckily he is forgiving, and it has always been a relief to me to realize that I am in the wrong when I do this. It is hard and unhappy work to be judgemental and critical. It feels much better to love and accept. Why is it that the happier and easier way is also so much harder?
So, yes it is hard. But it gives you an amazing chance to learn about yourself and to grow into a happier and more loving person. And it gives you a chance to be loved in a uniquely deep way, because your mate knows your imperfections better than anyone else. We need to know we are not perfect, we will never be perfect, and we are still loved. This is the way we are able to love ourselves and others. Forget "perfection" -- we dont know what it is anyway. Accept and try to understand the strangeness of the ones you live in relationship with, and you will grow and be blessed beyond what you could ever guess.