I should preface this by saying it is only what has worked for me; there is as much variation in ideas for living well as there is people to live. But I love hearing how other mommies do things, and if you are a momma, I'll bet you do to.
My experience has been that I have more of a life now than I did before having children. I think this is because I did not have discipline to develop my interests well before children (let's refer to this time as B.C.) All that free time I had B.C. made it harder for me to focus on developing anything. Also, I was able to divert myself with random pleasures enough that I did not have to face my character defects that were holding me back from getting to know myself better. I really had less identity then than I do now.
Having children was a sort of ball and chain for me (granted the most wonderful, sweet, and blessed ball and chain imaginable!) at first. I loved them so so dearly and wouldnt go back to B.C. for anything, but i also felt stressed and isolated. What was good about the limitations the children put on me was that I had to face myself, being present with myself and my own lack of inner resources. I had to start getting help dealing with the parts of myself where I was unhealthy, becuase I couldnt hide from them anymore by diversions.
When I began to seek help for myself, I found I was beginning to develop a positive network of support people. Goodbye feelings of isolation! As I began to get to know myself, instead of just entertaining myself, I began to discover what I really like. I like art. I like gardening. I like making my own foods. I like running. I really like gourds and gourd art.
Now, about learning what I like: I never developed myself artistically even when I was in art school becuase I never knew what I liked. I couldnt tell you what kind of art I enjoyed. For me art was one part outlet, and one part parlour trick. I got attention by making art, and that was a good part of my incintive for doing it. I didnt love it for itself that much, though. However, I am artistic, and now I am able to tell you what art I love and why. I also have found, in gourd art, a medium I love enough to persue with dedication.
Now comes the fun part. I know what I like. How do I get to do it while taking care of two small children? For me the answer has been routines. I used to hate routines but now I see them as musical living. I use the Flylady system to make homecare easier. My children take at least two naps every day, and we stay home alot so that when they are tired, they can lay down. Staying home keeps them happy and gives me more free time at home to do those things I love. The only place we go very often is church, grannie's house (3 miles away), and the YMCA. The Y is part of our morning routine now, and the kids do really great staying in nursury while I work out. I have found it is easier to be motivated to run now that I only get one chance to do it every day.
So that is why "Mamma Burnout" has been a gift for me... it has helped with getting rid of some things holding me back.
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